When You Get to the End of “Believe in Yourself”

“Believe in yourself.”

If you want to hang this inspirational phrase on your wall, wear it on your body, use it for your lock screen, or stick it on your water bottle, you’re in luck:

These are five immediate results I found on a recent image search for “believe in yourself.” They’re nice ideas, aren’t they? It’s good to believe in ourselves, to have self-confidence and stay focused, to have self-esteem and a “growth mindset.” Surely that kind of positive determination will serve us well in life, setting us on the path to achieving our dreams. It’s likely you’ve even seen evidence of this in your own life or in the lives of others.

Why, then, is “believe in yourself” an idea you won’t find, in any form, in the Bible? Why does Jesus, in all his words of wisdom, never once even remotely hint at anything like the ideas above?

Instead of believing in ourselves, Jesus tells us to believe in him. Instead of trusting our own hearts, he says to trust in God. Instead of believing that we are enough for the world, he says that he is enough for us.

“But,” you may say, “when you say, ‘believe in yourself or trust in God’—isn’t that a false dilemma? I think I can do both. In fact, I think I ought to do both—believe in myself and trust in God!”

Okay, yes. You can do both. For a while.

Believing in yourself is a really good idea when you’re learning to swim, or changing jobs, or going to the gym, or countless similar goals that we all tackle, sometimes daily, in one form or another. When my IT support (my daughter) moved out of my house recently, I definitely had to believe in myself that I could troubleshoot my technology issues and deal with them without her. When my middle son learned to ride, build, or rebuild a skateboard, a bicycle, a dirt bike, and a motorcycle, he certainly believed in himself and his ability to learn new things and keep himself moving. When my husband went back to school in his late 30s, first for his long-overdue bachelor’s and then for his master’s at seminary, he had to believe in himself in order to graduate with both—a process that took nearly ten years.

So in that sense, there’s nothing wrong with believing in yourself. A person with no self-esteem, no self-confidence, and no sense of self-worth will be tremendously handicapped in life, and will have a hard time with success or even contentment—in their relationships, at school, at work, and in many areas of daily life.

But at various points in our lives, in certain critical situations, we’re going to grow weary. We lose steam, become discouraged, and lose faith in ourselves in a big way. We wonder what the outcome of our situation could possibly be, because it’s not looking good from our perspective. We begin to doubt our ability to keep forging ahead with whatever it is we’re having difficulty with—a job, a family member, a project, a health issue, a financial issue, a church issue. We lose the belief that we can do this. It may feel devastating, as if there is nowhere left to turn.

What we have forgotten is to trust in God. Oh, we say we do—as Christians, we know that we ought to, but we can say it with our lips without actually believing it deep in our hearts.

And so when you get to that point, when “believing in yourself” is no longer sustaining you and you feel at the end of your rope, ask yourself: what do you actually believe?

• Do you believe that God is sovereign? That he is in control of all things? (Isaiah 46:9-11, Psalm 139:16, Matthew 10:29-30, James 4:13-15)
• Do you believe that he has your best interests at heart? (1 Peter 5:6-7)
• Do you believe that he is working things out for your good? (Romans 8:28)
• Do you believe that he can take things that have gone wrong and turn them into something good? (Genesis 50:20)
• Do you believe that your sanctification requires a certain amount of suffering? (Romans 5:3-5, Romans 8:17-18, 2 Timothy 2:3)
• Do you believe that your earnest but limited view of your life pales in comparison to God’s actual plans for you? (1 Corinthians 13:12, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 16:9)
• Do you believe that you can trust what he has for you, even as you stumble along, make mistakes, and get discouraged? (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 28:7, Philippians 1:6)

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the title of a book by Eugene Peterson, “a long obedience in the same direction.” In fact, if this were actually a Bible verse, it would likely be my “life verse” due to the number of times I’ve recalled and leaned heavily upon it during times of trouble. The Christian life is indeed a long obedience in the same direction, but obedience to whom? Belief in what? Not to yourself, because believing in yourself is a solution that doesn’t last. It gives you a false and fleeting sense of security. It will fail you in the end.

When you come to the end of yourself, in whatever possible situation, what remains is what was there all along: that God is in control, he cares for you, and he wants what’s best for you. The only true comfort, the steady, unchangeable foundation for your life after all else has failed and you are completely spent and without hope, is to remember to trust not in yourself, but in the Lord.

“Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence” (Jeremiah 17:7).

Photo by Kévin et Laurianne Langlais on Unsplash