Here’s something interesting to consider: who have been the most influential people in your life, and why? Who has always been a positive influence when you’ve dealt with troubles both big and small? Who has had the character qualities that you want to emulate?

When I think of these questions of influence in my own life, my thoughts immediately go to two of the quietest, most “hidden” people that I’ve known.

One is my maternal grandfather, who was like a father to me from the time I was a baby until he passed away when I was thirty-two. To me, he represents security, generosity, sacrifice, service, and unconditional love, as well as quiet resilience and purpose in the face of hardship, disappointment, and rejection.

The other is my mother-in-law, who came into my life not long before my grandfather died, and was like a mother to me for more than thirty years. To me, she represents wisdom, humor, sacrifice, service, and unconditional love, as well as quiet resilience and purpose in the face of hardship, disappointment, and rejection.

One was a telegrapher for the Missouri Pacific Railroad; the other was an executive secretary in a large corporation. Both worked for decades in quiet, unassuming roles until retirement—a retirement they both were grateful for after years in jobs that weren’t as fulfilling and or exciting as we sometimes expect our jobs to be today. My mother-in-law had a deep, rock-solid love for every member of her family, and those who were close to her got the bonus of her quick-witted sense of humor. My grandfather lived and breathed music, but he was always there when I needed stability or rescue during some of the most difficult times of my young life. They were both unassuming people, avoiding the spotlight and content to let others shine.

By outward measures, their lives would be considered small. Oh, they each lived a very long time, well into their eighties, but their worldly impact was minimal compared to many. And yet, they’re both at the top of my Most Influential People list of all time. Not just because I loved them, or because they loved me (although both of those things are true, and precious to me), but because I would like to emulate who they were. I’d like to be more like them.

It’s not always easy, because I don’t have a lot of natural personality traits in common with either of them, not to mention the generational differences. Still, I often find myself thinking, “What would Mom do?” when I’m called upon to be a good mother or mother-in-law, and “What would Pappy do?” when I’m called upon to be a good grandparent or to be the hands and feet when someone is in need.

Henri J. M. Nouwen has given some thought to what it means to have a small, unassuming life. He reminds us of another example we can all look to—and somehow, when I read this recently, it felt like new information to me:

“The largest part of Jesus’ life was hidden. Jesus lived with his parents in Nazareth, ‘under their authority’ (Luke 2:51), and there ‘increased in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and with people’ (Luke 2:52). When we think about Jesus we mostly think about his words and miracles, his passion, death, and resurrection, but we should never forget that before all of that Jesus lived a simple, hidden life in a small town, far away from all the great people, great cities, and great events. Jesus’ hidden life is very important for our own spiritual journeys. If we want to follow Jesus by words and deeds in the service of his Kingdom, we must first of all strive to follow Jesus in his simple, unspectacular, and very ordinary hidden life.”

Jesus led this simple, unspectacular, and very ordinary hidden life for thirty years. He lived far from where anything of worldly importance was happening. There is very little recorded history of his life until it was time for him to fulfill the mission that his Father had set before him. And during the three short years of completing that mission, he demonstrated quiet resilience and purpose in the face of hardship, disappointment, and rejection. Just as my own role models did. Just as you and I are often called to do.

Not long ago, I learned that for many years now, my husband and I have been (unknown to us) role models to a young couple that we know. This was quite humbling, and I was truly surprised. It’s not because of our fabulous jobs or professional status, our impressive house, our perfect children, our flawless home life, our exciting travels, or our global influence—because we don’t have any of those things. I think instead it’s because of our simple, unspectacular, ordinary lives and the meaning and fulfillment we have ultimately found there—and how knowing God and finding joy in him has been the foundation for all of it.

The vast majority of us are called to live “simple, unspectacular, and very ordinary lives.” If you are one of them, know that this is exactly the kind of life that, surprisingly, can inspire others. The kind of life that can cause those who are closest to us—often the ones who we don’t even know are paying attention—to look to the One who set an example of humility, unrushed living, purpose, and quiet resilience that we can emulate in whatever life we are given.

Photo by Sergej on Unsplash