When I set out on the six-minute drive to pick my son up from work, I had an urgent issue on my mind. I wanted to make the most of my limited time to talk out loud to God, and I do that sometimes when I’m alone in the car.

My prayer went something like this (also, there might have been a few tears involved, along with a fumbling grasp for glove compartment fast food napkins at the stoplight):

“Lord, this is a big decision. I don’t know what to do. It affects not just me, but other people, too, and I’m scared of all of this change. Dear God, please help me. Can you …” (hesitating now) “… and you know I hardly ever ask you for this, Lord … I’m actually not sure I ought to be asking it at all, and I’m sorry if this is wrong to ask … but can you possibly give me a sign so I know what to do?”

Even as I said the words, my mind flew to the book of Judges, when Gideon put God to the test with a sheep’s fleece, asking for a specific sign to confirm what God had clearly called him to do. This scene has never sat well with me, yet Gideon received an answer exactly when he asked for it, and without reproof from God. So (I told myself) maybe my asking God for a sign wasn’t so bad after all?

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When my son was in the Marines, the culmination of his recruit training was a 54-hour ordeal called The Crucible. The Crucible is designed to challenge recruits both mentally and physically, consisting of food and sleep deprivation along with a combat assault course, a casualty evacuation, a night infiltration course, and much more. I prayed my 18-year-old son through it from 2,000 miles away, knowing that he must complete this challenge in order to attain his dream of becoming a Marine.

The word “crucible” comes from the Latin word crux, meaning “cross” or “trial,” and it’s often used to describe any very difficult test or trial. In a literal sense, a crucible is a container used for melting or testing metal or other substances at a very high temperature. A crucible must be made of the right material in order to maintain its structural properties without being damaged from the intense heat within. The contents inside are transformed, but the container itself remains undamaged.

And so it is with a Christian marriage of many years. After decades together, you and your spouse are transformed, but the container of your marriage, Lord willing, remains undamaged.

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wonder how many mammals go through menopause?” I certainly hadn’t—up until last week.

It turns out that only a handful of mammals are known to experience menopause: humans, chimpanzees, and five species of toothed whales (short-finned pilot whales, false killer whales, killer whales, narwhals, and beluga whales). All other mammals (5,000+ species in all) retain their ability to reproduce throughout their lifespan. And as difficult and unpredictable as human menopause can be, I imagine that the alternative of never-ending fertility is not something most women would be jumping at the chance to experience, either.

In God’s good design, we humans share this somewhat rare life stage with only six other species on earth. Humans, however, are the only creatures who are able to reflect upon the experience of menopause, and even (stay with me here) thank God for it.

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Back when my husband and I first became Christians, one of the passages that we most loved in our brand-new Bibles was this one: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

For two people who had been leaning very much on our own understanding, the idea of trusting in God was both a welcome challenge and a restful change. We spoke often of this new concept and we frequently reminded each other to trust God in difficult situations. Throughout our 30 years of marriage, I suppose I had always thought that we were fully on the same page when it came to trusting God … but a chance conversation recently made me realize that trusting God doesn’t always look the same for everyone.

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Wretch, wrath, hell, grave.

Q: What do those four words have in common?

A: They’re all words from popular Christian songs that have been removed or replaced with an entirely different word or concept.

Here’s a quick rundown of each:

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What’s more comfortable than getting up before dawn on a cold winter morning?

Staying in bed, that’s what.

But for the past couple of years (including cold winter mornings), I’ve been getting up early and going to the gym. Not every day, of course—just a few times a week. And before you jump to conclusions about the kind of person I am based on what I just wrote …

If you took into account every single year of my life up until I was in my 50s, “going to the gym” was a completely foreign and detestable concept to me. It could not have been more out of character or less expected in my life. But somehow I’ve developed this new habit, and sure enough, it’s paying off in terms of my health and fitness. Not only that, I’ve grown to really enjoy it and I miss it when I can’t go.

This article isn’t to encourage you to go to the gym, though. It’s also not about those Bible verses on the benefits of rising early (unless you want to read them—which is entirely optional: Mark 1:35, Psalm 63:1, Psalm 5:3, Psalm 119:147).

What I really want to talk about is that no-filter picture above, of a gorgeous sunrise. The sunrise that I never would have seen if I hadn’t made a difficult decision, months before, to move past my inertia and my fear of change and my feelings of intimidation.

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