Faith

The Role You Wanted vs. The Role You Got

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

Once upon a time, I was an actor. Before I was a Christian, before I was a wife and mom, before I was a teacher, before I was a writer … this goes way back—high school and early college.

During those formative and tumultuous years, theatre was just about my whole life. It got me through high school in one piece, and it gave my life purpose and meaning. The stage was home to me.

After auditions, we actors would wait breathlessly for the cast list to be posted. We all had an idea of the role we really wanted. Sometimes we wanted the lead role, but not always. Sometimes we yearned for the smaller but more interesting role, or the role that would be more “fun” to play.

The “fun” roles were, as you might suspect, quite often the role of the villain, the antagonist, the person who causes friction or trouble of some kind. The person who has deep troubles or desires or motivations that are not … nice. Those roles are interesting, and if I were a psychologist I could probably write an article on why those roles are so interesting, but instead I’m just going to tell one story about one role in one play.

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Faith

When You Get to the End of “Believe in Yourself”

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

“Believe in yourself.”

If you want to hang this inspirational phrase on your wall, wear it on your body, use it for your lock screen, or stick it on your water bottle, you’re in luck:

“Believe in yourself—you are enough”

“Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself”

“If you believe in yourself, anything is possible”

“Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable”

“She believed she could, so she did”

These are five immediate results I found on a recent image search for “believe in yourself.” They’re nice ideas, aren’t they? It’s good to believe in ourselves, to have self-confidence and stay focused, to have self-esteem and a “growth mindset.” Surely that kind of positive determination will serve us well in life, setting us on the path to achieving our dreams. It’s likely you’ve even seen evidence of this in your own life or in the lives of others.

Why, then, is “believe in yourself” an idea you won’t find, in any form, in the Bible? Why does Jesus, in all his words of wisdom, never once even remotely hint at anything like the ideas above?

Instead of believing in ourselves, Jesus tells us to believe in him. Instead of trusting our own hearts, he says to trust in God. Instead of believing that we are enough for the world, he says that he is enough for us.

“But,” you may say, “when you say, ‘believe in yourself or trust in God’—isn’t that a false dilemma? I think I can do both. In fact, I think I ought to do both—believe in myself and trust in God!”

Okay, yes. You can do both. For a while.

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Faith

Ambassadors for Marriage

Rebekah Matt6 Comments

“So how’s married life?”

According to my recently married 24-year-old daughter, this is the number one question people ask soon after they learn you are newly wed. She’s answered it countless times, most recently with a co-worker who was at the beginning of a new dating relationship. Just a few minutes into their lunch together, this friend asked the question my daughter knew was coming:

“So how’s married life?” Casually, off-handedly, with a quick, friendly smile but seriously inquisitive eyes.

Now, my daughter has often been described by others as being, at all times, unfailingly honest and real. So when she’s asked this question, she gives the unvarnished truth. Her response to that co-worker was the same response she’s given every time:

“It’s great—I love being married.” Straightforwardly and with great sincerity.

The co-worker first looked surprised, then relieved, and then she wanted to know more. Because that was not at all what she expected my daughter to say.

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Faith

Use Your Comfort Zone to the Glory of God

Rebekah Matt6 Comments

“Get out of your comfort zone.” We hear it all the time, from friends, family, business leaders, church leaders, and actually, the whole rest of the world, it seems. But I’m going to encourage you here to do just the opposite: to find your comfort zone and stay in it.

Not all the time, of course. Sometimes, in order to grow and really see what you’re capable of, you do need to get out of your comfort zone. You sometimes need to try new things and stretch yourself, even if it’s difficult or feels awkward at first.

But there are reasons why you have a “sweet spot” of abilities or endeavors where you feel competent, confident, and thoroughly content with whatever it is that you’re doing. You’re comfortable there, and you’re in the zone. It’s your comfort zone.

Your comfort zone might be:

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Schooling

Why You Don’t Need to Worry (So Much) about Your Schooling Choices

Rebekah Matt4 Comments

Some parents seem to know exactly how they’re going to school their children from a very early age—whether homeschool, private school, or public school—never second-guessing themselves  at any point from kindergarten through twelfth grade.

That’s awesome. Terrific! I applaud those parents and commend them for their commitment to whichever school choice they’ve made for their kids. But this article isn’t for those parents.

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Faith

Your Church May Be More Diverse Than You Think

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

When diversity is already all around you in your church, do you take note of it, embrace it, and learn from it?

The phrase “diversity in the church” usually refers to racial or ethnic diversity, with many churches striving, often unsuccessfully, to attract a more fully integrated, racially balanced congregation. Some churches fret about not being able to achieve this, believing that they can’t possibly reflect the whole kingdom of God without demonstrating racial diversity, while others consider it a worthy pursuit but acknowledge that they’re not likely to have complete success in this area for various reasons.

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Other Topics

Thoughts on Three Weddings: A Week, Five Years, a Lifetime

Rebekah Matt4 Comments

One week ago, a beautiful, highly anticipated event occurred, one that had consumed a great deal of my time and energy for nearly four months. Our daughter got married, moved out of our house, and left us with an almost-empty nest. And we gained a wonderful son.

This was a very different event from 2018, when we celebrated the marriage of our oldest son after his time in the Marine Corps. He became a married man that summer, but he had been overseas for most of the previous four years anyway, so the change was felt much less in the Matt household. We did, however, gain a delightful daughter and eventually two granddaughters, as well.

I have a few thoughts after these two weddings, and I submit them here with the admission that  a) due to my not-so-typical upbringing, I do not know what I’m doing with milestone events, such as special birthdays, graduations, and funerals—I was pretty much winging the whole wedding thing from beginning to end; and b) I have friends who have gone before me (even multiple times) and have helped me along the way, thank goodness. What I have observed from my wedding experience is that:

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Parenting

Whose Pins Are You Juggling? A Parenting Story

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

My 16-year-old son had just gotten a job working at the local supermarket, and was attending orientation, his first day at work. He called me to come pick him up when they were done, and my 23-year-old daughter, having nothing better to do at the time, drove with me to keep me company. We sat in the parking lot together, waiting for him to emerge from the store.

Time passed. No son.

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