Tag: Christian living

Faith

When Trouble Strikes, What Will You Reap?

Rebekah MattLeave a comment

Recently I taught 1 Corinthians 13 (the “love chapter”) to a class of four- to six-year-olds. It’s a famous passage; you’ve probably heard these verses at weddings, or in a sermon about how we should love others. I’m probably not the only one with part of this verse artfully inscribed on a plaque that sits on a shelf in my home.

How do we love others well? If you’ve ever wondered, this chapter will leave no doubt in your mind.

The practical how-to verses (v. 4–8) are right in the middle: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

In this passage, there are eleven straightforward, everyday signs (displays or expressions) of love that we should be attempting with those around us every single day … followed by five looser, more general concepts as reminders of the abiding characteristics of love.

I’ve considered these verses many times during the thirty years that I’ve been a Christian. In fact, I bought that decorative plaque that I mentioned during the time in my life when I had several young children underfoot. During those busy and chaotic years, I realized how much I needed a constant reminder of how to show love to everyone in my household (husband included).

Lately I’ve been thinking about these verses again regarding family … extended family, that is, and how we respond to difficulty or tragedy when it strikes. Because none of us will escape trouble of varying degrees in our lives. At some point, and more than once, it’s going to strike.

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Faith

Let’s Talk About Envy

Rebekah MattLeave a comment

All it takes is one little picture. One little comment. One fleeting glimpse of another person’s:

appearance

home

car

vacation

purchases

accomplishments

income

position

giftings

spouse

children

family

—any aspect of their life that appears to be better than yours. That knotted-up, burning feeling of envy might begin in your heart, your stomach, or your head … along with a familiar mantra of: look what they have that I don’t. Look what they have that I never will. Look at the multiple blessings they get from God when I do without so many.

I could pretend that this post came about because I observed envy in another person, or that someone came to me asking for counsel about it, or that I had been reading a book on it and wanted to share some new insight. But none of that is true. This post was written because I’ve fallen into the trap of envy many times in my life. I’m intimately familiar with what triggers it, what it feels like, how to wallow in it, and (thank you, God) the best ways to overcome it.

Can you relate?

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Faith

Election Year Hymn

Rebekah MattLeave a comment

Strange but true: I have a personal earworm tradition that’s tied to the U.S. election cycle. This earworm took up residence in my head in October of 2016 and lasted about a month; it repeated this exact time frame in 2020, and is back again in 2024. Thankfully, it’s a hymn I love and don’t mind it being on constant repeat inside my head. It’s also the hymn that gets me through a difficult and contentious election cycle—in one piece, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally—with friendships and family relationships intact, with neighbors and communities that I still love, and with hope and peace instead of anger and despair.

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Faith

When Resilience and Grit Aren’t Enough

Rebekah Matt9 Comments

Statistically, my life ought to be a serious mess right about now.

It’s true that much of my ’70s and ’80s childhood was a fairly typical American suburban experience. But there was a lot going on behind the scenes, and before I was ten years old, I had learned two survival skills used by many children living in a highly unstable environment: how to lie about my family situation and how to hide things from others.

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Faith

Growing Older with Wisdom, Not Bitterness

Rebekah Matt6 Comments

I didn’t like turning fifty.

Turning thirty didn’t bother me at all. Turning forty I barely remember because I was so busy with young children, work, homeschooling, and church. But turning fifty was a little worrisome because it was the first decade that sounded even remotely “old” to me. It was hard to believe that I had been alive for half a century.

And now soon, very soon, I’ll be turning fifty-nine, which, if you’re counting, gives me just one more year before I turn sixty. When my husband turned sixty a few years ago, I remember saying breezily to him, “Aww, it’s fine! Sixty is the new forty!” But now the shoe is on the other foot and I’m finding myself clinging fondly to my fifties because they’re actually looking pretty good to me right now, and that decade sounds quite young, especially when it’s mostly in the rearview mirror.

Probably my sixties will eventually feel as comfortable as my fifties do now—and I’m sure a few encouraging minutes of conversation with a woman who is older than I am would confirm that fact—but right here, right now, knocking at the door of almost-sixty, it’s a little hard to swallow.

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Parenting

Three Words for Christian Parents

Rebekah Matt4 Comments

My granddaughter and I had a conversation recently about family while cooking together in my kitchen—a narrow galley kitchen in a house of less than 1500 square feet:

Me: “Papa and I used to have lots of children living with us in this house. We had your daddy first, and then his sister, and then two more brothers! I wonder how many people that is all together who used to live here?”

My granddaughter, a spirited, math-loving three-year-old, is now intensely interested in how this conversation is going. Her attention is momentarily diverted from stirring the eggs. “How many?” she asks breathlessly, eyes wide. She holds up her fingers to count as I say the family names one by one.

“Six!” she shrieks in disbelief. “Six people in this house?” This cracks me up because that’s the exact response I got from certain people when we announced 18 years ago that we were having a fourth child, and that no, we were not planning to move.

“Yes, six!” I smile at her, and I’m overcome, as I so often am these days, at the memories in those two little words.

Because after 30 years of marriage, of raising four children who all started very small but quickly (so quickly) grew into full-sized humans who did indeed take up a lot of space in our small house … after all those years, this somewhat crowded nest is almost empty.

*                      *                      *

Here is God’s plan for us when we begin families of our own: that we would raise up children—human beings made in his image—all the way to adulthood, even though we ourselves are far from perfect and in need of forgiveness every day. That we would be in charge of small, vulnerable, impressionable people 24/7, despite our fairly serious character flaws. That we would provide for them in every way throughout every life stage, even when our own sinful natures are in frequent conflict with theirs. When you think of the enormity of this task that God has set before parents, imperfect and ill-equipped as we are, it’s hard not to wonder, what was he thinking?

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Faith

“Lord, Give Me a Sign”

Rebekah Matt1 Comment

When I set out on the six-minute drive to pick my son up from work, I had an urgent issue on my mind. I wanted to make the most of my limited time to talk out loud to God, and I do that sometimes when I’m alone in the car.

My prayer went something like this (also, there might have been a few tears involved, along with a fumbling grasp for glove compartment fast food napkins at the stoplight):

“Lord, this is a big decision. I don’t know what to do. It affects not just me, but other people, too, and I’m scared of all of this change. Dear God, please help me. Can you …” (hesitating now) “… and you know I hardly ever ask you for this, Lord … I’m actually not sure I ought to be asking it at all, and I’m sorry if this is wrong to ask … but can you possibly give me a sign so I know what to do?”

Even as I said the words, my mind flew to the book of Judges, when Gideon put God to the test with a sheep’s fleece, asking for a specific sign to confirm what God had clearly called him to do. This scene has never sat well with me, yet Gideon received an answer exactly when he asked for it, and without reproof from God. So (I told myself) maybe my asking God for a sign wasn’t so bad after all?

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Faith

Reflecting Christ in the Crucible of Your Marriage

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

When my son was in the Marines, the culmination of his recruit training was a 54-hour ordeal called The Crucible. The Crucible is designed to challenge recruits both mentally and physically, consisting of food and sleep deprivation along with a combat assault course, a casualty evacuation, a night infiltration course, and much more. I prayed my 18-year-old son through it from 2,000 miles away, knowing that he must complete this challenge in order to attain his dream of becoming a Marine.

The word “crucible” comes from the Latin word crux, meaning “cross” or “trial,” and it’s often used to describe any very difficult test or trial. In a literal sense, a crucible is a container used for melting or testing metal or other substances at a very high temperature. A crucible must be made of the right material in order to maintain its structural properties without being damaged from the intense heat within. The contents inside are transformed, but the container itself remains undamaged.

And so it is with a Christian marriage of many years. After decades together, you and your spouse are transformed, but the container of your marriage, Lord willing, remains undamaged.

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Faith

On Whales, Menopause, and Thanks to God

Rebekah Matt11 Comments

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wonder how many mammals go through menopause?” I certainly hadn’t—up until last week.

It turns out that only a handful of mammals are known to experience menopause: humans, chimpanzees, and five species of toothed whales (short-finned pilot whales, false killer whales, killer whales, narwhals, and beluga whales). All other mammals (5,000+ species in all) retain their ability to reproduce throughout their lifespan. And as difficult and unpredictable as human menopause can be, I imagine that the alternative of never-ending fertility is not something most women would be jumping at the chance to experience, either.

In God’s good design, we humans share this somewhat rare life stage with only six other species on earth. Humans, however, are the only creatures who are able to reflect upon the experience of menopause, and even (stay with me here) thank God for it.

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