Tag: Christian living

Parenting

Three Words for Christian Parents

Rebekah Matt4 Comments

My granddaughter and I had a conversation recently about family while cooking together in my kitchen—a narrow galley kitchen in a house of less than 1500 square feet:

Me: “Papa and I used to have lots of children living with us in this house. We had your daddy first, and then his sister, and then two more brothers! I wonder how many people that is all together who used to live here?”

My granddaughter, a spirited, math-loving three-year-old, is now intensely interested in how this conversation is going. Her attention is momentarily diverted from stirring the eggs. “How many?” she asks breathlessly, eyes wide. She holds up her fingers to count as I say the family names one by one.

“Six!” she shrieks in disbelief. “Six people in this house?” This cracks me up because that’s the exact response I got from certain people when we announced 18 years ago that we were having a fourth child, and that no, we were not planning to move.

“Yes, six!” I smile at her, and I’m overcome, as I so often am these days, at the memories in those two little words.

Because after 30 years of marriage, of raising four children who all started very small but quickly (so quickly) grew into full-sized humans who did indeed take up a lot of space in our small house … after all those years, this somewhat crowded nest is almost empty.

*                      *                      *

Here is God’s plan for us when we begin families of our own: that we would raise up children—human beings made in his image—all the way to adulthood, even though we ourselves are far from perfect and in need of forgiveness every day. That we would be in charge of small, vulnerable, impressionable people 24/7, despite our fairly serious character flaws. That we would provide for them in every way throughout every life stage, even when our own sinful natures are in frequent conflict with theirs. When you think of the enormity of this task that God has set before parents, imperfect and ill-equipped as we are, it’s hard not to wonder, what was he thinking?

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Faith

“Lord, Give Me a Sign”

Rebekah Matt1 Comment

When I set out on the six-minute drive to pick my son up from work, I had an urgent issue on my mind. I wanted to make the most of my limited time to talk out loud to God, and I do that sometimes when I’m alone in the car.

My prayer went something like this (also, there might have been a few tears involved, along with a fumbling grasp for glove compartment fast food napkins at the stoplight):

“Lord, this is a big decision. I don’t know what to do. It affects not just me, but other people, too, and I’m scared of all of this change. Dear God, please help me. Can you …” (hesitating now) “… and you know I hardly ever ask you for this, Lord … I’m actually not sure I ought to be asking it at all, and I’m sorry if this is wrong to ask … but can you possibly give me a sign so I know what to do?”

Even as I said the words, my mind flew to the book of Judges, when Gideon put God to the test with a sheep’s fleece, asking for a specific sign to confirm what God had clearly called him to do. This scene has never sat well with me, yet Gideon received an answer exactly when he asked for it, and without reproof from God. So (I told myself) maybe my asking God for a sign wasn’t so bad after all?

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Faith

Reflecting Christ in the Crucible of Your Marriage

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

When my son was in the Marines, the culmination of his recruit training was a 54-hour ordeal called The Crucible. The Crucible is designed to challenge recruits both mentally and physically, consisting of food and sleep deprivation along with a combat assault course, a casualty evacuation, a night infiltration course, and much more. I prayed my 18-year-old son through it from 2,000 miles away, knowing that he must complete this challenge in order to attain his dream of becoming a Marine.

The word “crucible” comes from the Latin word crux, meaning “cross” or “trial,” and it’s often used to describe any very difficult test or trial. In a literal sense, a crucible is a container used for melting or testing metal or other substances at a very high temperature. A crucible must be made of the right material in order to maintain its structural properties without being damaged from the intense heat within. The contents inside are transformed, but the container itself remains undamaged.

And so it is with a Christian marriage of many years. After decades together, you and your spouse are transformed, but the container of your marriage, Lord willing, remains undamaged.

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Faith

On Whales, Menopause, and Thanks to God

Rebekah Matt11 Comments

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wonder how many mammals go through menopause?” I certainly hadn’t—up until last week.

It turns out that only a handful of mammals are known to experience menopause: humans, chimpanzees, and five species of toothed whales (short-finned pilot whales, false killer whales, killer whales, narwhals, and beluga whales). All other mammals (5,000+ species in all) retain their ability to reproduce throughout their lifespan. And as difficult and unpredictable as human menopause can be, I imagine that the alternative of never-ending fertility is not something most women would be jumping at the chance to experience, either.

In God’s good design, we humans share this somewhat rare life stage with only six other species on earth. Humans, however, are the only creatures who are able to reflect upon the experience of menopause, and even (stay with me here) thank God for it.

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Faith

“Trust in the Lord” … But How?

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

Back when my husband and I first became Christians, one of the passages that we most loved in our brand-new Bibles was this one: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

For two people who had been leaning very much on our own understanding, the idea of trusting in God was both a welcome challenge and a restful change. We spoke often of this new concept and we frequently reminded each other to trust God in difficult situations. Throughout our 30 years of marriage, I suppose I had always thought that we were fully on the same page when it came to trusting God … but a chance conversation recently made me realize that trusting God doesn’t always look the same for everyone.

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Faith

Show Up for What God Has for You

Rebekah Matt7 Comments

What’s more comfortable than getting up before dawn on a cold winter morning?

Staying in bed, that’s what.

But for the past couple of years (including cold winter mornings), I’ve been getting up early and going to the gym. Not every day, of course—just a few times a week. And before you jump to conclusions about the kind of person I am based on what I just wrote …

If you took into account every single year of my life up until I was in my 50s, “going to the gym” was a completely foreign and detestable concept to me. It could not have been more out of character or less expected in my life. But somehow I’ve developed this new habit, and sure enough, it’s paying off in terms of my health and fitness. Not only that, I’ve grown to really enjoy it and I miss it when I can’t go.

This article isn’t to encourage you to go to the gym, though. It’s also not about those Bible verses on the benefits of rising early (unless you want to read them—which is entirely optional: Mark 1:35, Psalm 63:1, Psalm 5:3, Psalm 119:147).

What I really want to talk about is that no-filter picture above, of a gorgeous sunrise. The sunrise that I never would have seen if I hadn’t made a difficult decision, months before, to move past my inertia and my fear of change and my feelings of intimidation.

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Faith

That Bible Verse You Don’t Like and What to Do About It

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

Out of the 31,102 verses in the Bible, it’s entirely possible that you don’t necessarily like every single one of them. That some of them might actually get under your skin.

There may be a particular verse that causes a reflexive bristling or even an eye-roll—if not outwardly, then in your heart. Something that annoys you or angers you. A phrase that scares you a bit, or causes you to question the goodness of God. A verse that you choose to ignore rather than confront.

What are some Bible verses that a reader, even a Christian reader, might not like? Here are some examples I came up with off the top of my head:

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Faith

My Church Dissolved—But Did It Fail?

Rebekah Matt5 Comments

Have you ever been through a church dissolution? Either a church you helped start from the beginning or you were simply present at the end?

I have.

Twenty years ago this month, my family was part of a core group that planted a church. Forty-seven people were bound together by shared dreams, exciting plans, multigenerational camaraderie, a love for the gospel, and high hopes for what we envisioned years down the road: a strong, healthy congregation, a building of our own, and God’s Word being preached, taught, and shared with others. God was doing a good work, and we had the incredible opportunity to be his hands and feet, establishing a new church in a new place for his glory.

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Faith

The Role You Wanted vs. The Role You Got

Rebekah Matt2 Comments

Once upon a time, I was an actor. Before I was a Christian, before I was a wife and mom, before I was a teacher, before I was a writer … this goes way back—high school and early college.

During those formative and tumultuous years, theatre was just about my whole life. It got me through high school in one piece, and it gave my life purpose and meaning. The stage was home to me.

After auditions, we actors would wait breathlessly for the cast list to be posted. We all had an idea of the role we really wanted. Sometimes we wanted the lead role, but not always. Sometimes we yearned for the smaller but more interesting role, or the role that would be more “fun” to play.

The “fun” roles were, as you might suspect, quite often the role of the villain, the antagonist, the person who causes friction or trouble of some kind. The person who has deep troubles or desires or motivations that are not … nice. Those roles are interesting, and if I were a psychologist I could probably write an article on why those roles are so interesting, but instead I’m just going to tell one story about one role in one play.

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