Hello, Sixty

“I’ll be sixty in a couple of months.”

At the present time, I can say this casually and effortlessly, without cringing, whispering, or grimacing. It was not always this way.

Last year, I could hardly say the number aloud, so I’ve actually come a long way from my state of utter denial. I’m not sure why it’s been so hard for me to accept this number, sixty. I’ve heard that “sixty is the new forty,” but honestly, sixty is the age where you can no longer even remotely pretend that you are still young. Sixty actually sounds kind of old.

No longer can you joke that AARP is sending you mail way too early. No longer do you have the luxury of rarely thinking about your retirement savings. No longer can you take pain-free knees, hips, or shoulders for granted. No longer can you coast through life on the youthful waves of a grab-and-go diet, a sedentary lifestyle, or poor sleep habits. No longer can you forget random words or have a why-did-I-come-into-this-room moment without thinking about cognitive loss. And you can’t say flippantly, “Oh, sixty is just a number!” because they’ve done research and things truly are changing at sixty (and oddly enough, at forty-four) that you can’t stop from happening.

Oh, it’s not all bad, of course. For instance, I’m a whole lot wiser than I was in my younger years. I have more life experience. Patience and humility come more easily to me now, and I have a better handle on when to speak up and when to keep my mouth shut. I have a better sense of what really matters in life, and what doesn’t.

I’ve found that as I get closer and closer to the big 6-0, God has put some things in my path that have helped me see more clearly how to head into my sixties without denial, worry, or fear. Here’s a very short list of Do’s and Don’ts that are helpful if you’re about to enter a decade that you’re just a little bit worried about:

1. Don’t Google It

One of the worst things you can do when you’re facing an age you’re concerned about is to google something along the lines of, “What happens to the body at sixty?” Or more generally, “What happens when you get old?” When I was looking for the link to the above article on Stanford University’s research on aging, many of these kinds of posts came up, and I’m sorry to say that I clicked on a few of them. It was a poor use of my time—no matter the source, almost everything I read was depressing and fear-inducing. It was most definitely a case of “too much information,” when what I really needed was “ignorance is bliss.”

My advice is to avoid Google and just remind yourself of what you probably already know about how to make the best of the years ahead:

• Eat sensibly (and eat less, if that’s a problem for you as it is for me).
• Get up and move. Housework, gardening, strength training, walking, volunteering—it doesn’t matter, just get up off your bum.
• Do your best to get enough good-quality sleep. I know that’s hard sometimes, but try to prioritize this.
• Maintain active relationships with family and/or friends (include children, if you can). Go to church every week. Don’t isolate yourself.
• Keep your brain busy and productive. Read books, play word or problem-solving games, or challenge yourself to learn something new.

2. Find Someone Your Age Who Is a Positive Influence

Recently we had an unexpected guest in our home for nearly two months: my 62-year-old sister-in-law, up from Texas to help care for our mother-in-law who had suffered a stroke. What a blessing that sister’s presence was to me—a blessing that I didn’t even know I needed! To have another woman in the house again, who was right around my age, and a Christian, as well. Someone who was positive, uplifting, and easy to get along with … I can’t say enough how this helped me during a difficult personal and family time. In our spare moments, we commiserated over the inevitable changes and difficulties of being 60-plus, but we also encouraged one another spiritually and emotionally—as sisters in Christ, sisters-in-law, and friends. I realize now how important it is to have someone to talk to who is a positive influence in your life, someone who speaks truth, who shares a love for Jesus, and who can talk honestly about difficult topics without bitterness. Find that person, if you can, and be that person, as well.

3. Remember What God Has to Say About Aging

As we age, it’s common to feel overlooked, anonymous, and unseen. I know this from experience (it started right around age fifty for me). The world values and affirms youth in every possible way; this adds insult to injury for those of us who are dealing with bodies that no longer respond effortlessly or cooperate with us in the ways that they used to.

But as a Christian, you know better than to elevate what the world values above what God values. You know that God sees you, he never overlooks you, and you have a name and a place in his kingdom. No matter your physical age, you are a child of God, and he loves you through every age and stage of your life. He loved you when you were young (despite your youthful inexperience and flaws) and he loves you now:

“Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.” —Isaiah 46:4

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” —2 Corinthians 4:16

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” —Proverbs 16:31

“Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” —Job 12:12

“The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.” —Psalm 92:12-15

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” —Psalm 73:26

Maybe like me, you’re nearing 60, or maybe 60 is in your rear view mirror and you’re looking at a higher number now. Maybe 40 is causing you anxiety, or 50. It may be your vanity that’s taking a blow, or your self-confidence, or feelings of security, safety, or self-worth. It may be your hair, your skin, your middle section, your endurance, your strength, your balance, your joints, your mental sharpness, your inability to stay awake past 8 p.m. … or the various other ways that your mind and body tell you that you’re no longer in the spring of life.

Don’t google it. Find someone around your age who is positive and uplifting to talk to. And remember what God has to say about aging, and about how he loves and cares for you. This world is not your home, and one day your mind and body will be made new. 

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” —Philippians 1:6

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Photo by Lan Gao on Unsplash