Big Moments from 23 Years of Homeschooling

I’m retiring this week from a job I’ve had for the past 23 years. It’s a job I chose willingly and have loved. I’ve been a homeschool mom.

Now, homeschooling isn’t for everyone, for lots of reasons. I believe strongly in good schooling options and parental choice, and I’ve written about that a few times already. But I was able to homeschool, I believe God called us to homeschool, and I very much wanted to homeschool, so I did.

I wonder how other moms celebrate or commemorate the end of homeschooling? Here’s my method: First, I had a good, long cry. Then I sent a family text with a picture of a completely clear dining room table (see above), telling everyone that my 23 years of homeschooling had come to an end and how much I loved them. My husband and I went for a walk and got ice cream. And then I sat down to write this highly personal (but maybe a little bit universal?) list of big moments, along with a few pictures from homeschooling in the Matt household:

Biggest gratitude: I’m so grateful for a husband who supported homeschooling from the very beginning, who never once pressured me to bring in a full-time income, who provided for us in so many ways, and who trusted my day-to-day decisions rather than micromanaging our homeschool.

Biggest décor choices: A home filled with thousands of books in wall-to-wall bookcases, carts and baskets filled with art and math supplies, and huge, laminated U.S. and world maps hung low in the hallway. I removed the maps a couple of years ago and tried to enjoy the empty, grown-up-looking space … and then put them back up again because a) I love maps; b) I have grandchildren; and c) I’ve never wanted a grown-up-looking house anyway.

Biggest gift: Time. We had lots of time together, of course, but that’s not the only time I mean. I also mean time for kids to explore what they loved. For my kids, this meant hours and hours spent drawing, reading, playing outside, learning origami, playing piano, creating board games, building with LEGOs, reenacting stories and making up new ones, learning new crafts, and playing video games (so much Minecraft…).

Biggest “oops”: We knew at one point that we needed to put one of our sons in school, so we put the youngest one in … and then realized nearly three years later that we put the wrong son in school. We switched them out, and we know now that this “oops” was all part of God’s plan—both young men benefited from their experience and were where they were supposed to be.

Biggest sacrifices: Oh, let’s be honest … there were many. We sacrificed vacations, new cars (at times even a second car), a bigger house, free time and alone time, and for me, a full-time income and/or an advanced degree. I used to feel twinges of envy or regret over some of these things, but no longer (thank you, God, for removing that from my heart).

Biggest homeschool panic moment: Our oldest had enlisted in the Marine Corps and had been training under a recruiter’s supervision for a year. He left our home one summer day ready to head to boot camp the next morning … only to return that evening with his recruiter, who said that the USMC was suddenly unsure that our son had actually completed high school and we needed to provide proof of graduation (which we had already done). I frantically printed another transcript, compiled a list of courses and descriptions, and resubmitted my son’s 100% legal and acceptable homeschool diploma. Thankfully, he was able to get to boot camp as scheduled. This was the only moment in 23 years that anyone ever questioned the legitimacy of graduating from homeschool.

Biggest regret: That I did not keep a list of all the lunchtime read-alouds we did. Reading chapter books together at lunch was the best thing ever. Toddlers were occupied and contained, elementary students were enthralled, teens were present and involved, and afterwards, they all went off to do their own things while I ate my lunch … blissfully alone. But I never kept a list of the dozens of books we read, and I deeply regret that now, for sentimental reasons.

Biggest flexibility: We weren’t tied to a school schedule, and oh, how we loved that. Probably the #1 benefit of this was that we could go anywhere we wanted during times when there were no crowds. We got very spoiled.

Biggest thanks: We belonged to an incredibly helpful local homeschool support group—starting back in the pre-internet days when I received a thick, stapled packet of homeschool activities in the mail each month, through the use of an amazing learning center that allowed me to outsource all the things I couldn’t or didn’t want to teach: science (no dissections on my dining room table, yay!), art, foreign language, driver’s ed, and more. Thanks also to this group for meaningful graduation ceremonies; a fabulous, locally-run Homeschool Expo; and so many fun dances for my two dance-loving kids. (I learned at those dances that you can’t embarrass homeschoolers even when you try, as mom chaperones, to stage a flash mob on the dance floor after learning the Cupid Shuffle from YouTube the day before; they simply make room for you as if a large crowd of moms invading their dance space is perfectly normal.)

Biggest “give back” to other homeschoolers: I had a strong desire to acknowledge and build up those kids who were artistically creative, so I started an annual Art Show with our homeschool support group. For 13 years, until I passed the baton, this large, judged show provided an opportunity for student artists to display their work, receive public recognition for it, and maybe even win a ribbon for their efforts.  

Biggest fun: This is a tough one to narrow down, but I’d say probably field trips. We went everywhere—or at least it seemed that way. Historical sites and reenactments, cultural institutions, countless museums, state parks, nature centers, all kinds of performing arts, and so much more.

Biggest continuing friendships: So many homeschool moms became a part of my story and will always be my friends. Two friend groups stand out to me: one group of in-person friends who bonded while waiting for our kids during hours and hours and hours of P.E., and another group of online friends who bonded over a shared curriculum but soon discovered that we were soul sisters in so many other ways. I treasure the presence of these women in my life.

Biggest helps: Literature-based curricula and books in general, including access to an excellent public library system. The Five in a Row curriculum was love at first sight for me, and we used it throughout our homeschool journey. It made me a better teacher, without a doubt.

Biggest surprise: Kids aren’t all alike—not even siblings who grow up in the same house with the same parents. I learned quickly that what worked so well for one may or may not work for any of the others. Every year required new evaluations of learning preferences, academic abilities, unique interests, and individual strengths and weaknesses. Thankfully, this is one of the most fun aspects of teaching for me, figuring out what each child needs and then making it happen.

Biggest joy: The opportunity to incorporate our faith whenever and however we wanted during our school day, talking openly, honestly, and naturally about Jesus, the Bible, church, and all aspects of life in relation to God’s creation and promises.

So now I have no more homeschool lesson planning, my dining room table is clear, and my time in the car has been reduced by at least half. I’m not sure exactly what the future has in store for me, but I still have plenty to do for now. I’ve been a freelance writer for more years than I’ve been a homeschooler, and thankfully I still have that work. I thank God that all of my children live in town, and I have two (soon to be three) young grandchildren. I have opportunities to sub at a wonderful Christian school nearby, because even though I may be retired from homeschooling, I also know that I can’t not teach.

Twenty-three years of my life … and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

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I love to write about all aspects of schooling and education, and you can find those articles here.